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1994-11-14
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948b
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32 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WIN THE ELECTION
10. YOUR CAMPAIGN MANAGER KEEPS MISPRONOUNCING YOUR
NAME
9. ON OUTSIDE OF LETTER YOU GET FROM PUBLISHERS CLEARING
HOUSE: "YOU MAY ALREADY BE A LOSER!"
8. CAMPAIGN RALLY CHANTS OF "FOUR MORE YEARS!" REFER TO
YOUR PRISON SENTENCE
7. YOUR "MOTORCADE" IS DOWN TO A RENTAL CAR AND A FAT
KID ON A BIKE
6. ALL THE TV AD TIME YOU BOUGHT WAS ON CBS PRIME TIME
5. YOU RISE TO OFFER A REBUTTAL DURING A TELEVISED DEBATE,
AND THE MODERATOR SAYS, "SAVE YOUR SHOE LEATHER, JUNIOR!
WE'RE ALL VOTING FOR THE OTHER GUY!"
4. NEXT TO YOUR NAME ON THE BALLOT IT SAYS, "YEAH, RIGHT"
3. GENNIFER FLOWERS WON'T RETURN YOUR PHONE CALLS
2. DURING DEBATE YOUR OPPONENT SAYS, "I KNEW FORREST GUMP,
I WORKED WITH FORREST GUMP AND YOU'RE NO FORREST GUMP
1. EVEN YOU VOTED FOR THE OTHER GUY
Letterman, Wednesday November 2, 1994
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1994